When I got out of work, I actually thought, "Maybe I'll clean my room tonight"

Hi! So for once, I have an ACTUAL INAPPROPRIATE STORY to share with you all! I was hoping these could wait until there were fun Lisa & Kate Shenanigans, but clearly they cannot. So! Last night I had to work because it was one of those days that end in "Y." And at like 9, my manager was like, "Who wants to go home?" and I kind of kiddingly said that one of the other waitresses won because she was in today at 8:30am and I wasn't in until 11am. And Manager was like, "You can go if you want" and Coworker was cool with it, so I wasn't about to fight. And I got to leave! Yay! So I get home and my flatmates are like, "What the hell are you doing here?" and then we watched House and then they had friends show up from out of town and so they went upstairs and I was like, "Hmm...antisocial" so I watched me some Flight of the Conchords. And then 2 and a half episodes later, I felt I should have some fun. So I come upstairs and they are all playing this game that is...so bizarre. Basically. You have a box of wine. You take out the sack of wine within, and ditch the bottom of the box, making one open-ended box. Put the box on the floor, open end up, and you must pick it up with your teeth without letting your hands or knees touch the ground. After everyone goes, another layer is ripped off of the box to make it shorter and, thus, harder. Well. This is insane. So I come in about halfway through, everyone is still in, and I jump in because why the eff not? It turns out I kind of rock at this game, thank you very much. So I get third because my French and German flatmates are some sort of superhuman creatures who tied because there was no more edge on the box and they could still lean over and get it. It was just a piece of cardboard on the ground!! I got out the round before, when there was an eensy border still on there. Still, third ain't bad. So then we play some Twister, which you all know I suck at, but we all kind of sucked, but I still lost repeatedly. And then I was like, "Let's go swimming in the lake!" and they were all, "Boo, hot pools!" because they're pussies. But the lake is within walking distance and the hot pools are not, and one sober flatmate refuses to drive, so we only have one sober, car-owning person. But he has a van. So the eleven of us are like, "Let's take the van" (no, there was a debate first, but it was silly). So we load up, 3 in the front on the actual seats, and 8 people in the back of the van. There are no seats in the back of the van, there's just open space. Someone comments on how this is illegal. Duh. Although not something I'd've thought of. When telling this story at work, they were like, "Of course that's illegal. Come on" but it's not something I thought about. So we're discussing how, like, if we get pulled over, there is something like a $200 fine per person, so that cop will've hit the motherload. So the Driver is like, "I'm sticking to smaller roads, I'm spending as little time on Spa Road as possible." Understandable. So we're driving there, and one guy in the front turns around and takes a picture of us. I glance out back at the cars behind us and am like, "Let's not draw attention to ourselves by using the flash in a moving vehicle." I don't say this, I think it. Mostly because as I think it, the car I'm looking at turns on the red and blue lights on the top of itself. Yes. So. We pull over, and we're all basically like, "Dude, Tom. Say we are all drunk and you're taking us home because we can't drive. Go with it." I mean, it is 1:30am on a Friday night. So he gets out of the car and walks to the cop car. The cop gets out. They have a little discussion. We are slouched in the back in fear. And Tom is like, "Yeah, my friends are all drunk, so I am driving them all home." The cop shines his light in the back of the van - where there are 8 of us - and says, "Damn, how many kids you got back there?" He then walks to the front and talks to Tom some more. Shines his flashlight on the registration. And says, "Well, everyone's sitting down. Seems safe enough to me," and leaves.

I freaking love this country.