When I got out of work, I actually thought, "Maybe I'll clean my room tonight"

Hi! So for once, I have an ACTUAL INAPPROPRIATE STORY to share with you all! I was hoping these could wait until there were fun Lisa & Kate Shenanigans, but clearly they cannot. So! Last night I had to work because it was one of those days that end in "Y." And at like 9, my manager was like, "Who wants to go home?" and I kind of kiddingly said that one of the other waitresses won because she was in today at 8:30am and I wasn't in until 11am. And Manager was like, "You can go if you want" and Coworker was cool with it, so I wasn't about to fight. And I got to leave! Yay! So I get home and my flatmates are like, "What the hell are you doing here?" and then we watched House and then they had friends show up from out of town and so they went upstairs and I was like, "Hmm...antisocial" so I watched me some Flight of the Conchords. And then 2 and a half episodes later, I felt I should have some fun. So I come upstairs and they are all playing this game that is...so bizarre. Basically. You have a box of wine. You take out the sack of wine within, and ditch the bottom of the box, making one open-ended box. Put the box on the floor, open end up, and you must pick it up with your teeth without letting your hands or knees touch the ground. After everyone goes, another layer is ripped off of the box to make it shorter and, thus, harder. Well. This is insane. So I come in about halfway through, everyone is still in, and I jump in because why the eff not? It turns out I kind of rock at this game, thank you very much. So I get third because my French and German flatmates are some sort of superhuman creatures who tied because there was no more edge on the box and they could still lean over and get it. It was just a piece of cardboard on the ground!! I got out the round before, when there was an eensy border still on there. Still, third ain't bad. So then we play some Twister, which you all know I suck at, but we all kind of sucked, but I still lost repeatedly. And then I was like, "Let's go swimming in the lake!" and they were all, "Boo, hot pools!" because they're pussies. But the lake is within walking distance and the hot pools are not, and one sober flatmate refuses to drive, so we only have one sober, car-owning person. But he has a van. So the eleven of us are like, "Let's take the van" (no, there was a debate first, but it was silly). So we load up, 3 in the front on the actual seats, and 8 people in the back of the van. There are no seats in the back of the van, there's just open space. Someone comments on how this is illegal. Duh. Although not something I'd've thought of. When telling this story at work, they were like, "Of course that's illegal. Come on" but it's not something I thought about. So we're discussing how, like, if we get pulled over, there is something like a $200 fine per person, so that cop will've hit the motherload. So the Driver is like, "I'm sticking to smaller roads, I'm spending as little time on Spa Road as possible." Understandable. So we're driving there, and one guy in the front turns around and takes a picture of us. I glance out back at the cars behind us and am like, "Let's not draw attention to ourselves by using the flash in a moving vehicle." I don't say this, I think it. Mostly because as I think it, the car I'm looking at turns on the red and blue lights on the top of itself. Yes. So. We pull over, and we're all basically like, "Dude, Tom. Say we are all drunk and you're taking us home because we can't drive. Go with it." I mean, it is 1:30am on a Friday night. So he gets out of the car and walks to the cop car. The cop gets out. They have a little discussion. We are slouched in the back in fear. And Tom is like, "Yeah, my friends are all drunk, so I am driving them all home." The cop shines his light in the back of the van - where there are 8 of us - and says, "Damn, how many kids you got back there?" He then walks to the front and talks to Tom some more. Shines his flashlight on the registration. And says, "Well, everyone's sitting down. Seems safe enough to me," and leaves.

I freaking love this country.

This tag will (hopefully) be used a lot

This is in reply to Lisa's latest post. But I couldn't comment on it, so I put it here. Because I CAN.

Dear Lisa,
Earlier today, this transpired between D-Ber and me (I have decided to camouflage people's names on the internet by J-Loing them):
Me: i miss you like whoa
D-Ber: hehe
D-Ber: well git yo foo ass back!
Me: hahaha, i can't, lisa is almost here
Me: LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR MY EXCITEMENT, LIKE, SERIOUSLY.
D-Ber: yeah
D-Ber: I betr
D-Ber: *bet
Me: i mean, lisa
D-Ber: I miss you both more with her gone too, oddly
Me: like, not even someone i'm kind of excited about. freaking lisa.
D-Ber: theres... nobody left
Me: because we're the same person

Anyway, obviously earlier today I missed you, but this entry has made me miss you even more. You're very entertaining online. Anyway, as for explaining jokes, I was hanging out with some friends from Germany, France, and the UK and I made a "That's what she said" joke, and they were like, "I don't understand, who said that?" So I know all about explaining jokes. However, that night my Canadian flatmate was talking about it being busy at work (he's a skydiving instructor. Seriously!) and he said, "We got pounded, man" and my Kiwi flatmate (who is a kayaking instructor, which has not been so busy. However, kayaking is awesome, so also Seriously!) went, "I would love to get pounded" and I (obviously) said, "That's what she said." And they both reacted like, "Yeah. You just made that joke." So SOME people get it.

Also, my own "That's what she said" just made me giggle in the retelling of the story. So that's me.

Love,
Kate

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-different-types-of-caulk.htm

Hi-lo!

I am in the middle of making curry (Japanese curry, not Indian or Thai curry, although those are delicious as well if you are not Benjamin), but I wanted to add a quick explanatory note.

In the interest of protecting our not-hated ones during this festive season, we will be using a codename for a certain somebody! You may use whatever code name you wish when you are leaving comments, so long as they are ridiculous enough that we know whom you are talking about. I have opted for Sparky, at least for the time being.

If you don't know who Sparky is, here are some helpful hints!

- He reminds me of a badger, but he may remind you of a penguin, a puppet, or a velociraptor.
- He doesn't like potatoes. Potatoes don't like him. We all agree with the potatoes, 'cept for maybe Jim!
- I'm joking!
- (you have to say it out loud, like you are singing)
- He is like a venus fly trap.
- He has a green robe!
- He has at least two clones... there may be a third.

So. Comply! Bye!

"Star Wars" can be typed with one hand!

Hi there, peaches and plums!

So yes, this is a joint blog, and also, it is awesome. Jointly awesome.

I have to admit that Mark (yes, Mark...) gets some credit. I told him in an IM conversation that I was struggling to come up with a blogspot address and that, if it were a blog just for fencers, I would make it berdinelovescaulk. Mark told me, perhaps jokingly, that I should make two! So I have one and a half. My blog for everyone, including family and very religious friends, is golisago.blogspot.com. You can check it out sometime, but trust me, this one is going to be way cooler and hotter.

Things this blog promises:
- to make fun of you a lot, especially if you are Mark, Sparky, or Ben.
- giggling.
- the occasional story from New Zealand.
- !!!1!!111!1!!!!!11!!1!1!!!!! <-- expect a lot of this. Enjoy.

Welcome!

So you know how you set up a blog and you send, like, your parents and your grandparents and your friends and your ex-coworkers the link so that they can keep up-to-date with the fun goings-on in your life abroad? And then a few days/weeks/hours/whatevers later, you're like, "Man, I want to tell people about how my flatmate cut his butt open going naked down a waterslide at the New Years music festival, but it's kind of inappropriate"? Or something to that effect. So you wish you had a blog that was for just your friends? But you kind of can't be assed to do it? But then one of your BESTIES is also coming to New Zealand and SHE says the same thing AND comes up with the most kick-assiest url ever? Then you effin' do it. You just do it. And it rocks.

Oh, hey, so welcome! A note from the founders, via IM:

Kate: shockingly, berdinelovescaulk.blogspot.com is available!
Lisa: Oh my god, we are so lucky!